analogwatch replied to your post: analogwatch replied to your post: I swear to the…
That’s cool. Sometimes kids just aren’t for you, and if they’re not, they’re not. Your life will still be just as rich, and you’ll be happy because you weren’t forced into something you didn’t want. :)You do not know how much I love you for this statement. I get the same old ‘oh you’re just saying that now’ or ‘once you have them it’s different!’ thing. People don’t understand… I. Don’t. Want. Kids. Neither does my husband. We’re happy the way we are. We have Archie (who’s going to be 6), Maxx (who’s 8), and Al (who’s 15, I think). THEY are our kids. We don’t care that they’re four-legged and furry!
That “you’re just saying that now” is the most condescending, infuriating attitude. I hate it. I don’t want kids either. I’m never going to have kids. I wouldn’t be a good parent, and people can argue that all they want, but I know that’s the case and I have no desire to change it.
I finally got my tubal ligation a year or so ago after fighting with doctors over it, and I heard that so much from them. “You might regret it!” …ffs, my life.
Ahem, sorry. Yes! People who get that are wonderful <3
Yeah. It drives me nuts, too. I mean, if a woman says from the time she’s twelve that she wants to be a mother when she grows up, NO ONE QUESTIONS IT. It’s expected that women want children. And it’s not true. Not all women DO want children. I, personally, wouldn’t mind two more. They probably wont happen, but I wouldn’t mind. Every time I see a baby, I get that soft squishy feeling in my chest. Meanwhile, my sister does NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN. Even MINE, who are actually exceptionally well behaved little monsters. She ONLY has a child because her boyfriend didn’t wrap his damn penis before he put it inside of her ‘because they are too tight’ (Buy a magnum, douche nozzle). She isn’t happy as a mother, she really isn’t. She loves her son, but she is NOT happy as a mother.
Yeah, this happens a lot, and it’s not fair to anyone, not the mother or the child. I knew a lot of women growing up who weren’t happy as mothers, and this made me think about it a lot. I didn’t want to just have children by default or get trapped in a situation that everyone was unhappy with.
I dunno, just happened so much with women I knew and it always bothered me.
What is really desperately sad is that sometimes women want children like mad, and then aren’t happy once they have them. My sister has said on several occasions that she loves her son, but hates parenting, and really, for a successful, corporate powerhouse like her, I totally understand it. She’s always had a job where she’s IN CONTROL and now she really just… isn’t and it drives her mad.
Luckily the really intense period is passing for her, and she’s adjusting, but she’s not going to have another.
I adore my kids, and most of the time I love parenting too. But we don’t all have to, and if you think you might NOT like it, chances are you won’t.
I’d love it if all my friends contributed to the gene pool, I won’t deny it. The film “Idiocracy” haunts my dreams sometimes. But no one should feel obliged to breed, and if you’re strong enough to make the decision not to, more power to you.
